


Impossible

by evilredeyebunnyofdoom



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Songfic, until it's not anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-25
Updated: 2013-05-25
Packaged: 2017-12-12 23:12:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/817174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evilredeyebunnyofdoom/pseuds/evilredeyebunnyofdoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything was going great, until it wasn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Impossible

I had fallen for him in the blink of an eye. One minute I was a stupid sixteen year old trying to make it as a singer and in the next all I could think about was the beautiful blue eyed boy that had waltzed his way into my heart.

_I remember years ago someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love. I did._

We had hit it off right away. Our personalities molded together like clay when two pieces suddenly become one. It felt  _so right_. I had never met someone that invoked these kinds of emotions in me. Within two weeks he had become my world. Everything I did or said revolved around him. 

_I did. And you were strong and I was not._

We spent virtually every second of everyday together for 10 weeks. Of course it wasn’t just us, but it felt like it was. All I could see when we were on stage was my breathtaking band-mate, best-friend, and soul-mate.

_My illusion, my mistake. I was careless. I forgot. I did._

We shared our first kiss the night we made it into the finals. It was the most exquisite feeling I had ever known; just a simple pressing of lips, something that could be mistaken as friendly. It was so much more than that, it was the beginning of something that would shape my life. It was the moment I  _knew_  I was in love with him.

_And now, when all is done there is nothing to say._

After we lost the X-factor I was terrified that I had lost the best thing to ever happen to me. Then we were told we were still relevant, we had a contract, and we would still be a band. I was so deliriously happy; this meant I got to keep him. My world and my everything. He had completely taken over. It was as if he was a part of me. I physically ached when we weren’t next to each other. My world could[continue](http://evilredeyebunnyofdoom.tumblr.com/post/29238895570/impossible-larry-oneshot) spinning, because I would still have him by my side.

_You have gone and so effortlessly._

We moved in together. Sharing a flat with my soul-mate was the most wonderful time of my life. We took our time, becoming acquainted with each other’s quirks. He left socks  _everywhere_  and  _I_  never _ever_  took my dishes to the kitchen. We were learning and growing together. We spent all of our time together, and eventually we shared more kisses. We began to spend more nights in one bed. The second bedroom was more of a guestroom really.

_You have won. You can go ahead. Tell them._

Months were going by smoothly. We never really talked about our relationship, we just knew that we belonged together and that was all we needed. We were together, in our own little world. Traveling all the time, doing shows and signings. It was the dream we had been striving to achieve. We had done it together, and that made it all the more meaningful to us.

_Tell them all I know now. Shout it from the rooftops._

After eight months our other band-mates began to ask questions. We told them we were happy and we knew what we were doing. We could handle this. Eventually they accepted it and supported us completely. They could see what we had was more than just a fling or a crush. It was real and palpable.

_Write it on the skyline. All we had is gone now._

We had been together as a band for a year when it happened. We took the next step. We weren’t just best- friends, room-mates, soul-mates, or band-mates anymore. We were lovers. That moment will be with me for the rest of my life. Gentle brushes of skin. Hands raking through hair and scrapping down backs. Two bodies fit together perfectly, almost indistinguishable from each other.

_Tell them I was happy and my heart is broken. All my scars are open._

It was the happiest I had ever felt. I finally had what I had been longing to have for a year. He was mine and I couldn’t have been more excited. I was elated, purely and simply. There is no other way to describe the love that flowed between us

_Tell them what I hoped would be impossible._

We had come up with a secret signal for the cameras. When we wanted to remind each other that we were there and we still loved the other all we would do was give a thumbs up. A simple action, apparently we weren’t as subtle as we thought. The fans, our girls, began to notice.

_Impossible._

We were dubbed with a couple’s name. The mashing of our two names into one. It seemed fitting as it was completely accurate. We weren’t two, we were one.

_Impossible._

Our glances and our smiles were obvious. That’s what the other boys said. We were too open; our love was so glaring you could see it for miles. I didn’t mind. I wanted everyone to know my beautiful lover was  _mine, all mine._

_Impossible._

He started to ease off our relationship. The other boys didn’t want us to tell the fans, but from how we were acting toward one another we didn’t have to actually  _say_  anything. It hurt me, every time he shied away from a touch. It was all for the cameras though. At home we were still us, our perfect unity. Two beings that lived and breathed as one.

_Falling out of love is hard._

The worst day of my life was when  _she_  was forced into the picture. A model. Gorgeous girl, lovely and sweet. In an effort to portray our relationship as less than what it was. That’s all it was, a cover. A way to hide. A mask.

_Falling for betrayal is worse._

It was hard. So hard to watch.  _My_ lover,  _my_ soul-mate forced to spend more and more time in the company of this girl. She had done nothing wrong; she was a pawn just like the rest of us. I just couldn’t help the hurt that simmered and eventually bubbled over.

_Broken trust and broken hearts. I know._

We started to argue. Something we had  _never_  done before. Sure we argued all the time with the other boys. Even to the point where we didn’t speak to them for days. But the two of us, my blue-eyed angel and I had never argued. It was awful. To see his hurt expression and offended eyes glaring at me. Telling me that it was just a façade. There was nothing going on. I needed to quit worrying.

_I know. Thinking all you need is there._

So I learned. To keep my mouth shut. I stopped showing my disappointment when  _she_  would take up his time and I didn’t see him for days. It came to the point where the only time we spent together was while we slept. I never complained though, I didn’t want to be labeled as  _clingy_  as well as jealous.

_Building faith on loving words._

Things did get better for a time. We were travelling more. The distraction, the cover, wasn’t there. We were able to spend as much of our time together as we used to. I knew everything would be okay. While on stage my heart would beat just that little bit harder when he sang. Sang for me. Like I sang for him.

_Empty promises will wear I know. I know._

The more time we spent away, the more public the cover relationship became. Displays of affection were common between the two well watched accounts of my lover and  _her_. None of it was real, they didn’t miss each other. He comforted me after every display. Whispering into my ear that I was his one and only. It was all for show. He didn’t want it, but we were part of an international sensation. Appearances are everything. Being what we were wasn’t  _acceptable_.

_And now when all is gone there is nothing to say._

I tried my best to fly under the radar with my subtle hints regarding my sexuality. I had never given it much thought; I didn’t see what the big deal was. If I loved someone, I loved them and that was all. Why did it matter what their biology was? I generally thought of myself as a sexual being, that was it. I didn’t have a preference to who I was attracted to. There were no boundaries. A person is a person. Most people didn’t have the same view; however, and my clues and hints were not taken lightly.

_And if you’re done with embarrassing me._

I was told I needed to take up a relationship. To dig deeper into the metaphorical closet. Stop dropping hints, directly say the word  _girl_  in interviews. Stop being vague, admit that I was attracted to girls and _only_ girls. I couldn’t believe it was happening. I didn’t want to lie any more. I was already in a relationship with the love of my life. Everything else was irrelevant.

_On your own you can go ahead. Tell them._

Apparently when a label signs you as a band, they gain rights to your soul as well as your voice. I just like my angel was forced into a relationship. She was a sweet girl, attractive and capable of standing her ground. A trait I admire, as I was incapable of it at the moment. With both of us in cover relationships we almost never saw each other. I could feel him slipping away from me little by little.

_Tell them all I know now. Shout it from the rooftops._

We still managed to keep ourselves for a while. Sacrificing time with family members and the other boys, who had become like family. We went on double dates, sneaking into bathrooms together and sitting next to each other at the cinema. Holding hands when no-one could see us.

_Write it on the skyline. All we had is gone now._

My cover relationship didn’t last very long. I couldn’t handle it, and neither could she. We weren’t a couple and it was stressful to act it out for people we didn’t know all the time. It had begun to feel like a job. The label agreed that it wasn’t working, and I was allowed to have my supposed bachelor life back.

_Tell them I was happy and my heart is broken. All my scars are open._

I had forgotten what it was like. I was no longer invited on double dates, as I didn’t have a date any more. My preferred date was taken and there was nothing I could do about it. He continued to reassure me though. Always the charmer. He could make me believe anything when he flashed that brilliant smile my way. And he knew it.

_Tell them what I hoped would be impossible._

It had been three weeks since we had slept together. I was frustrated, but once again found myself in the position of being either jealous or clingy. The moment it was brought up he would cringe and look away. I didn’t understand it.

_Impossible._

It had been two months since he had said the three words that made my heart stutter. I didn’t want to believe it.

_Impossible._

It had been five months since we had shared a bed. I was denying it.

_Impossible._

Five months and two weeks since we had held hands. I couldn’t face it.

_Impossible._

Six months since my angel spared a look in my direction. It crashed down on me.

_Impossible._

We weren’t us anymore.

_Impossible._

Six months for me to accept that we weren’t the same, but I still didn’t understand it.

_Impossible._

I walked into our shared apartment, which had really become my place of residence by this point. He was never around. Spent most nights at the cover’s place. I walked past the kitchen and into the lounge area. All I could see were clothes.

_Oh impossible. Yeah, yeah._

He had assured me for a year that it was nothing more than a forced relationship. I was it for him and he loved me. Everything they shared was for the cameras and I shouldn’t worry. Well obviously I had been worrying for six months. Now seeing our apartment covered in clothes wasn’t actually unusual, but seeing it covered in clothes belonging to  _her_  was definitely new.

_I remember years ago someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love._

He moved out. I’m broken. I’m not really me anymore. Yesterday I walked in on the love of my life sleeping with his cover. I shocked them, that much was evident. The noise was deafening in the silence that had been left in the wake of my interruption. They stared at me. Wide ocean blue eyes bored into me. That was when I understood. Eleanor left, I sincerely hope that she felt as uncomfortable as she looked. Louis stuttered and faltered. Trying to get out the lies that were ringing in my ears. It wasn’t anything it doesn’t mean I don’t love you. He gave up the attempt. Deciding that the truth was the better option here. I wish he had had that brilliant idea several months ago. Eleanor had been a cover. That’s how it started, but something changed over time. He had fallen for her, and she for him. After the truth was out, I told him I still loved him. I was too late, and I knew it. “I’m sorry Harry. I don’t love you like that anymore” My curls covered my face as I sobbed myself to sleep for weeks. An empty apartment and soul. At least I can take solace in knowing that my beautiful angel is happy. Even if it is with  _her._

_I did._

**Author's Note:**

> Poor Harry, jesus I'm such and asshole. I hope you liked it! Oh, and the song was Impossible by Shontelle.


End file.
